you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I want her autograph on my taint
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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