every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
