you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
