but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
