there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
