I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize