He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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