You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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