Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
