well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
