I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
