I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize