"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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