you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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