Porn is love you can see.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
