apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
