I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
