I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
