dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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