A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
