She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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