hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
