Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
