is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
