Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
