Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize