it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
