okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I checked into jail on foursquare
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
