He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
