Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize