I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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