The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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