I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
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You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
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I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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