i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Randomize