i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
