I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i may or may not be watching the land before time
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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