my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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