You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
