four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
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Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
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