why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
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