Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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