how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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