Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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