Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
