So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
