I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
