Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize