well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize