If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize