There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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