I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
