hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize
