Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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