she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
