i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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