If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
