Texts From Last Night

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  (916): View more from California

  I hate ducks.

  (916): View more from California

  What?

  (916): View more from California

  they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.

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  (916): I hate ducks. (916): What? (916): they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck. http://tfl.nu/gesm
  Replies (55) Good night (3396) Bad night (727)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.

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  (417): apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me. http://tfl.nu/fe7a
  Replies (2) Good night (2430) Bad night (560)
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  (979): View more from Texas

  Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.

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  (979): Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina. http://tfl.nu/ikem
  Replies (26) Good night (817) Bad night (3732)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?

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  (973): would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"? http://tfl.nu/lhgh
  Replies (20) Good night (3857) Bad night (625)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  i should start naming my morning wood

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  great idea but wrong number

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  (910): i should start naming my morning wood (201): great idea but wrong number http://tfl.nu/1p5a
  Replies (24) Good night (8205) Bad night (1046)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  only you would photoshop your dick

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  (973): only you would photoshop your dick http://tfl.nu/yxwr
  Replies (10) Good night (996) Bad night (4577)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon

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  (334): I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon http://tfl.nu/p3qx
  Replies (44) Good night (6124) Bad night (986)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers

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  (973): i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers http://tfl.nu/mvp5
  Replies (30) Good night (7864) Bad night (1228)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...

  (1-514): View more from Quebec

  Does an alley count?

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  (514): please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom... (1-514): Does an alley count? http://tfl.nu/n7ir
  Replies (8) Good night (1335) Bad night (2818)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.

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  (609): He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on. http://tfl.nu/bqu1
  Replies (15) Good night (4355) Bad night (1196)
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  (760): View more from California

  I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.

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  (760): I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned. http://tfl.nu/ynjo
  Replies (7) Good night (939) Bad night (3338)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight

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  (610): 3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight http://tfl.nu/lsa5
  Replies (3) Good night (2389) Bad night (724)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka

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  (732): I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka http://tfl.nu/793g
  Replies (4) Good night (525) Bad night (297)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.

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  (904): I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing. http://tfl.nu/6kf7
  Replies (2) Good night (550) Bad night (250)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window

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  (847): Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window http://tfl.nu/ubwd
  Replies (2) Good night (332) Bad night (472)

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