Texts From Last Night

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  (207): View more from Maine

  Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.

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  (207): Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit. http://tfl.nu/u5bn
  Replies (5) Good night (674) Bad night (1290)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women

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  (708): You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women http://tfl.nu/qt4m
  Replies (11) Good night (714) Bad night (1779)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.

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  (540): I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy. http://tfl.nu/o69i
  Replies (48) Good night (3557) Bad night (1362)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now

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  (703): He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now http://tfl.nu/q7km
  Replies (8) Good night (631) Bad night (2515)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?

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  (847): another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life? http://tfl.nu/u1gt
  Replies (29) Good night (1132) Bad night (4576)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.

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  (309): I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking. http://tfl.nu/amrn
  Replies (5) Good night (4787) Bad night (931)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.

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  (425): Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us. http://tfl.nu/n2iw
  Replies (5) Good night (1984) Bad night (826)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?

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  (715): Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet? http://tfl.nu/ptcd
  Replies (14) Good night (3182) Bad night (1017)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE

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  (919): she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE http://tfl.nu/jqwa
  Replies (18) Good night (4179) Bad night (793)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.

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  (360): She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake. http://tfl.nu/n9ny
  Replies (7) Good night (450) Bad night (862)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I won't apologize to a one balled man

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  (630): I won't apologize to a one balled man http://tfl.nu/49il
  Replies (9) Good night (666) Bad night (954)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.

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  (206): I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die. http://tfl.nu/n2ik
  Replies (1) Good night (763) Bad night (429)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."

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  (617): I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..." http://tfl.nu/x7hv
  Replies (1) Good night (700) Bad night (340)
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.

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  (831): Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me. http://tfl.nu/ne9s
  Replies (4) Good night (576) Bad night (246)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit

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  (614): And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit http://tfl.nu/5i17
  Replies (3) Good night (478) Bad night (200)

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