mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...