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Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
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