So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
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Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb