Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.

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  (631): Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin (856): Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts. http://tfl.nu/olt8
  Replies (17) Good night (1455) Bad night (3317)
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  (415): View more from California

  dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.

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  (415): dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint. http://tfl.nu/divk
  Replies (25) Good night (9320) Bad night (1348)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"

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  (910): You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?" http://tfl.nu/kb6v
  Replies (12) Good night (5791) Bad night (1047)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.

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  (512): If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department. http://tfl.nu/ppwl
  Replies (8) Good night (2655) Bad night (756)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job

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  (860): I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job http://tfl.nu/ok5l
  Replies (26) Good night (1194) Bad night (5303)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.

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  (614): Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce. http://tfl.nu/e1yj
  Replies (10) Good night (4218) Bad night (895)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.

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  (631): I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex. http://tfl.nu/s72v
  Replies (4) Good night (1888) Bad night (784)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.

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  (248): It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card. http://tfl.nu/7db5
  Replies (6) Good night (2875) Bad night (714)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.

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  (336): I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked. http://tfl.nu/3p22
  Replies (12) Good night (2935) Bad night (725)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..

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  (570): Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me.. http://tfl.nu/j14b
  Replies (5) Good night (1127) Bad night (583)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music

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  (907): She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music http://tfl.nu/408g
  Replies (18) Good night (3716) Bad night (715)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Score one for dad.

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  (541): Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job. (503): Score one for dad. http://tfl.nu/kgah
  Replies (6) Good night (2130) Bad night (507)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say

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  (912): Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say http://tfl.nu/bgnm
  Replies (2) Good night (1026) Bad night (369)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite

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  (416): drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite http://tfl.nu/pmot
  Replies (7) Good night (585) Bad night (320)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice

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  (540): I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice http://tfl.nu/bdyb
  Replies (3) Good night (1228) Bad night (324)

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