soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
