the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
