Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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