ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
operation harelip BJ is a go
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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