if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
