I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
