I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
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his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
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No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
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