My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize