I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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